A pointed at the pamphlet before heading in, “See you’re not actually locked in.”

The concept of an escape room is simple, but the stress of thinking I wouldn’t be able to complete the mission built for thirteen year olds and stunted adults terrified me. I got moody at the food court and chugged a coke before stepping in. 

I was pleased to discover that the group joining us for our outer space mission were five very well manicured gay teens and one of their girls. The leader, (which I did not initially recognize as leadership material) had curly blond hair which I think he had curled himself, and a knack for clear and concise instruction. 

I would follow this teenager into battle. Into the depths of hell, into a grainy outer space where we found ourselves.

If I was a different person we would have built an Empire already. If I were a different person I’d learn how to save money. I’d put my new credit card in my wallet. I’d use it on dinners from time to time. I would start thinking about air-miles.  

L’s sister just got a full ride to grad school, a scholarship and everything. I told L this would be good for her too because now she will have a real in with academics. 

I am satisfied with my quick and logical response. 

L is missing grass, L is not really sure about New York anymore. 

A's little brother kept forgetting we were even on a mission. I learned that week that he is usually never listening to a single thing his sister and I talk about. He only joins the chorus when he reflects on a daydream he just had. 

A cannot stop tattling on her brother. And her brother can’t stop sticking up his middle finger. And I can’t stop laughing in time to be the voice of discipline.